DDR

Why does it seem like the oddest, the strangest, the people who look like they never, ever get out of their own homes are playing DDR, or Dance Dance Revolution for those who lack knowledge of video game lingo. Today, I am going to tell you about a guy named Franz. I don't know the man's real name, but I am calling him Franz because he looks like Franz from the board game, "Guess Who?".

Actually before I continue, all different types of people play DDR, but they're generally laughing while they do it. Personally, I never have and never will, but I'm sure the average teenager to young adult has tried it once. Anyway, all the serious players are like Franz. The type of player who stares down the screen like they're Jonathon Papelbon closing out the final out of for the Boston Red Sox World Series championship. This is Franz.

Because I am literally watching this man as I type on my phone, I can describe his attire with a kind of perfection similar to his quick feet. I AM NOT MAKING THIS UP. Franz is wearing jean shorts well above his belly button with a plain blue t-shirt tucked in. He's also wearing some form of hemp belt to hold this ensamble together. To hold his wallet filled with a wad of dollar bills to play this game, he has it chained to his belt buckle. To finish off this masterpiece, he's wearing calf high socks with plain black sneakers. He's overweight, but no obese. He's also a balding man. So, maybe he is not Franz, but he's the other red head in Guess Who? Franz was the first name that came to mind. In fact, this guy looks like a red-haired hobbit.

While completely destroying all of the DDR records, Franz is drinking Apple Cider. Yes, Apple Cider in July, under a hot, steamy, humid, 90 degree clear sky. A half gallon of apple cider...in July. I must have missed the memo in health class that told us that the best thing to quench your third on a hot, steamy day is apple cider.

I had to step away for awhile because while typing all this I am at work and I had do work things. Apparently, some man gave money to a kid to play some games and the kid's mom thought the man was a pedophile.

After an hour of all this, Franz was still pounding it out on the DDR.